One of the questions that first preoccupied me when I was a child (in fact it was probably around the time that I was learning English) was: what is the opposite of happiness? Well, there’s unhappiness, but there’s also sadness. Which of these is the true answer, if there can be an answer that can be said to be “true”? Sadness is absence of happiness, right? But unhappiness encapsulates everything outside of happiness, including sadness. And then what about anger? I’m not happy when I’m angry. And then all these other things would occur to me: what about remorse, regret, bitterness, discontent, content, dissatisfaction, satisfaction, nonchalance... For just an example, if I am content or satisfied with something, I am not ecstatic about it, I am just not dissatisfied about it. Argh, human emotion is so hard to explain!
Recently my life has taken quite a turn – for the best! – and I am often (and I mean often) asked whether I’m happy? Well, the truth is yes, as a broad category I am a happy person, but no, as in not every minute of my day can I describe my mood or emotional state as “happy”. But how can you tell someone you care about that you’re not “happy” and have them not also believe that you’re an “unhappy” person or that you’re upset or bothered or annoyed, etc. (what most people associate with an emotion that isn’t happiness)? Aside from the fact that some would say I’m cyclothymic, even normal human emotion varies throughout the day, commonly even through the course of a conversation. A friend might play a trick on you and you’re surprised, then you realise it’s a joke and you laugh, then you want revenge so you play punch them (behaviour of aggression, intent of camaraderie), eventually you’re serious again and you discuss work. I was happy when I was laughing, but I am not “unhappy” as a negative emotion towards him by the time we get around to discuss work.
Personally, I have always found the concept of happiness so limiting. If all I ever got out of life was happiness, if it was all I strived for every second of every day, I would probably be a very miserable person. Maybe it is better to say at the end of a day that I lived, not just strived for an impossible dream. But I am happy about where my life is now (broadly, think season and not weather).
A quote:
“I would urge that you be dissatisfied. Not dissatisfied in the sense of disgruntlement, but dissatisfied in the sense of that ‘divine discontent’ which throughout the history of the world has produced all real progress and reform.
I hope you will never be satisfied. I hope you will constantly feel the urge to improve and perfect not only yourself, but also the world around you.” – Charles Becker
Oh man im confused
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